Well, it finally happened: after 5 years of being COVID free, Linda and I both got it in mid-February. We both feel like we’re back to normal but it did force me to evaluate things.
It’s been awhile since I really wrote something and this is a long piece so feel free not to read. I have often shared the ups and downs of my triathlon journey so I felt like I should do at least one more post.
Last year, plus two months into this year, has really been challenging. I have often felt like I’d get into training for about 2 or 3 weeks only to have it interrupted by 2 or more weeks of no or modified training - repeatedly starting over at square one with fitness and training. It seemed like it was happening every month so it was like I could never “get going”. Multiple illnesses (a few colds, 2 pneumonias), a GI system not cooperating at times, a falling injury that kept me from swimming for almost a month, a rib injury from a middle-of-the-night fall that led to an Urgent Care visit for pain, doing testing to rule out Parkinson”s, a diagnosis of a bicuspid (instead of a tricuspid) heart valve, lung function testing, PT to work on my balance issues, some of the typical “old man” body function stuff that will go unnamed here, and carrying around 20 lbs of extra weight. That doesn’t include spending time with our granddaughters (which I was grateful for and happy to be able to do but which was usually a training interruption too). That’s not a complete list but 2024 saw me getting sidelined more than I have since I started multisport back in 2006,
Going from a feeling of being Superman, doing 15 full distance Ironmans, and uncounted half Ironmans to doing two 16+ hour Ironmans and barely being able to finish under the cutoff time, has been quite a blow to my self-image. I went from a place of high self-confidence to the realization that I’ve lost a great deal of hard earned endurance fitness, not to mention outright abilities, that I will likely not get back as I age to 69, 70, and beyond. It's not to say that I intend to quit working out and trying to regain it but my focus really is switching away from training specifically for a 140.6 mile Ironman and towards working out so I can live a healthy, physically active life, especially as compared to others my age. I am trying to come to terms with this and letting go of Ironman racing (NOT LETTING GO OF COACHING or TRIATHLON) but it’s hard to do when your heart tells you something else. (Can I say it again? - coaching is still very satisfying and rewarding and I intend to continue to help guide others to find their own successes.) That said, if I manage to get into good enough shape to do a sub-17 hour Ironman, I reserve the right to come out of retirement to do it at age 70+. That will only happen if I get consistent, quality training in that points to me being able to do it physically. Ditto for a 70.3 - the training will tell if I can make it under the time cutoff.
It is somewhat surprising for me to be writing those words. From the beginning of this journey my goal had always been to qualify for and race in the Ironman World Championships in Kona, Hawaii. Looking back over those 14 years of racing 15 Ironmans, I never had an end planned. I thought I would just keep going. Well, I guess I should have had a plan. With Kona being the ultimate goal, achieving that and getting to race in Hawaii was a logical end point for me, especially since Kona is so costly and not something I feel I can even try to qualify for again.
My relatively poor performance in Hawaii was not the way I wanted it to end. But things don’t always go the way you want. Even on my worst day I never imagined going slower than 14-something hours, let alone 16:49 like I did. I still can’t tell you what happened out there but it points to why I was able to turn around 10 days later and do Ironman California in Sacramento.
There’s no way around it: Hawaii was a big disappointment for me when it came to my performance expectations. Barely making the cutoff time was not even on my radar. The funny thing is that the way it unfolded aligned perfectly with something I’ve emphasized in coaching others: I’ve always advocated for experiential goals. I lost sight of that initially, but in the end it was the most important part of the race for me. Having Linda, Mom, Marc and his family, and Corey, plus so many others there supporting me; the only reason I crossed the finish line is because of family and friends. And that’s the absolute ultimate - to have so many people cheering, pushing, pacing (yes, a rules violation), and willing me to finish before the 17th hour is something I will never forget. To think about that now - it was the perfect way to end this Ironman journey, absolutely perfect.
I have only a glimmer of hope that I will manage to come out of retirement to do one more race (140.6 or 70.3). But I will always have so many amazing memories. Without Linda, Mom, Corey, Marc and Courtney, and their support during racing and/or long training over the years, co-existing with the training plan, nursing a broken body, enthusiastically cheering, being spectathletes and sherpas - I couldn’t be more grateful. I will take away so many memories and nearly all of them are centered on the people - including everyone connected to Team Challenge, all those who I raced with, and all those who weren’t racing but came out to support me - there are just too many to name!
I want to say that these amazing experiences I’ve had were much better and much more meaningful because they were shared with the people I love. Without everyone, especially Linda, these experiences would not have helped me become a better version of myself. I am truly grateful.
Saying “retirement” outloud is not something I’ve looked forward to. Admittedly I think I’ll be in a funk over it for a while but it’s a relief to share. Thanks for reading all the way through. And If you are one of the many, many people that supported me in some way along the way - THANK YOU!
