I ran a relatively hard 5 K for time today. It was on my own and not a race. It was meant to be a measure of current fitness and a sort of benchmark to measure where I am in future weeks. I had low exceptions but hoped that it would go pretty well.
It did not go well. While I knew my run fitness for a half or full marathon was lacking, I hadn't expected this 5K/3.14mile run to be such a struggle and be as slow (for me) as it was. As the athlete I wonder what's going on. I wonder what the reason is; why I couldn't perform. As a coach I can tell me that you've had good and "bad" days every week for months. I can tell me this is a starting point to build from. I can tell me this is just a point in time and not permanent. I can tell me but I can't make me listen!
I do not always have the answer, especially when it comes to bumps in my road. I will continue to train anyway, to aim for improvement, to uncover the reasons for this level of fitness, and to persevere. I do not have high hopes or expectations but I'll do it because I respect the process that is training. And I'll do it because I value my health and being a triathlete.